ARMED ROBBERY!

Wow, breaking news- about half an hour ago there was an armed robbery at the Natwest in town, about three minutes walk from where I type this:

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They had a shooter and everything. I'm getting my arse down there with my camera RIGHT NOW, back later with pics.

We take you live now to BBC News 24 in London:

"...I'm now being told we can go live to the scene, Mark, can you give us some idea of the mood there?"







"Thanks Mark, there's certainly one word that sums up the atmosphere in the air here after this morning's terrible incident, and that word is bored as fuck. As you can see we've got one police officer on the scene, and his duties so far have included chatting with passers-by, yawning, and playing with what we believe to be his own bollocks. We've had word from an insider who reports that although a live firearm was used in the attack, no shots were fired and the perpetrator has already been apprehended. Reports that the robber wore a black-and-white-striped top and black eye-mask have been dismissed as 'lazy stereotyping'. Back to the studio".