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12.11.06
8.11.06
ARMED ROBBERY!
Wow, breaking news- about half an hour ago there was an armed robbery at the Natwest in town, about three minutes walk from where I type this:
Click for bigger version
They had a shooter and everything. I'm getting my arse down there with my camera RIGHT NOW, back later with pics.
We take you live now to BBC News 24 in London:
"...I'm now being told we can go live to the scene, Mark, can you give us some idea of the mood there?"
"Thanks Mark, there's certainly one word that sums up the atmosphere in the air here after this morning's terrible incident, and that word is bored as fuck. As you can see we've got one police officer on the scene, and his duties so far have included chatting with passers-by, yawning, and playing with what we believe to be his own bollocks. We've had word from an insider who reports that although a live firearm was used in the attack, no shots were fired and the perpetrator has already been apprehended. Reports that the robber wore a black-and-white-striped top and black eye-mask have been dismissed as 'lazy stereotyping'. Back to the studio".
Click for bigger version
They had a shooter and everything. I'm getting my arse down there with my camera RIGHT NOW, back later with pics.
We take you live now to BBC News 24 in London:
"...I'm now being told we can go live to the scene, Mark, can you give us some idea of the mood there?"
"Thanks Mark, there's certainly one word that sums up the atmosphere in the air here after this morning's terrible incident, and that word is bored as fuck. As you can see we've got one police officer on the scene, and his duties so far have included chatting with passers-by, yawning, and playing with what we believe to be his own bollocks. We've had word from an insider who reports that although a live firearm was used in the attack, no shots were fired and the perpetrator has already been apprehended. Reports that the robber wore a black-and-white-striped top and black eye-mask have been dismissed as 'lazy stereotyping'. Back to the studio".
31.10.06
Can't Wait!
I haven't been to a gig in absolutely ages- all year in fact. The last decent live act I saw was Sage Francis in Amsterdam over a year ago, so I can't wait for TOOL at the end of next month. A week or two after that I've got Mitchell and Webb to look forward to as well, so a few treats coming up.
30.10.06
Sexy Mustard!
I'm only posting this because I laughed so much I don't want to forget the link, and it's topical, what with the time of year and all. Hope you laugh.
29.10.06
27.10.06
Evil Dead: The Musical.
I've always been a gigantic horror freak. One of the earliest film memories I have is sitting with my nose practically squeezed against the T.V screen, watching a grainy and washed-out pirate VHS copy of The Evil Dead and having my mind blown to pieces by the crazy intensity and viscera. A few years later the sequel did the same, but my slightly-more mature mind was able to appreciate the slapstick and roll with the humour. I wasn't the only one- the two Evil Deads (and to a lesser extent the threequel, Army of Darkness) are hugely-beloved cult classics. When you meet someone new, it's usual to ask about favourite films- take it from me, if someone mentions Evil Dead, they're good people.
The first film is now twenty-five years old. The musical is clearly being produced by people like me who grew up as fans, with fanatical love for the source material. Each review I've read has gushed praise over it like foamy blood from a trapdoor. It feels to me like it could be a new Little Shop of Horrors- I think I've made my point. Just let it suffice to say: if this ever makes it's way to the UK, I will take a chainsaw to anything that gets in the way of my getting a ticket.
23.10.06
Someone I Know's Just Been on the Telly!
Those who know me well will know that about ten years ago I was in a short one-off drugs awareness-type drama on BBC1 Wales called Knucklehead. About halfway through tonight's premiere of Torchwood on BBC3, I realised where I recognised the fella playing Ianto Jones from:
Small world, eh?
Regarding Torchwood, I think it has a lot of potential but a lot of flaws. The most interesting character was Cardiff- it looked absolutely stunning, more so for not having to pretend to be London. Obviously I'll be watching the rest regardless, but I hope they can show a bit of restraint with the script- we already know that Captain Jack's an omnisexual intergalactic fuck-machine, there's no need to lay on the "ooh missus" asides every other line. I'd also like more gore, but then I'd like more gore in everything.
G'night!
Small world, eh?
Regarding Torchwood, I think it has a lot of potential but a lot of flaws. The most interesting character was Cardiff- it looked absolutely stunning, more so for not having to pretend to be London. Obviously I'll be watching the rest regardless, but I hope they can show a bit of restraint with the script- we already know that Captain Jack's an omnisexual intergalactic fuck-machine, there's no need to lay on the "ooh missus" asides every other line. I'd also like more gore, but then I'd like more gore in everything.
G'night!
22.10.06
I've Just Been on the Telly!
Remeber that Mastermind Cymru taping I went to over the summer? No? Well, whatever. The first episode is on now, and you can totally see me in the audience, which means you'll be able to next week as well.
Awesome.
Awesome.
20.10.06
My Bad New Hobby:
INTERNET LIES. I'm on Soulseek earlier, right, and someone starts downloading the new My Chemical Romance album from me, and, being bored, I decided to start a string of lies to see what they'd believe. Even I was shocked. Click to see the deceit.Everything's cool with me- had to go for another Criminal Records Board check earlier in the week, I suppose they want to be certain I haven't raped anyone in the six months since my last one. Still, when that comes back according to my contact I can start work straight away. I've been doing some more temping in Laura's office, I'm considering a week or two at the call centre, I'm off to Devon tomorrow to attend the wedding of an old colleague- hope everyone's well!
4.10.06
One Review.
One measly bloody review- and what a wonderful piece of journalism it is. Click it if you actually want to read it. Audrey Jones of the Gwent Gazette- you're a boring old cunt.
EDIT: That's a bit harsh, I know, but she's hardly Hunter S. Thompson, is she?
3.10.06
Heads Up!
Torchwood teasers are popping up regularly on BBC1 now- nothing much to report, just one-second flashes of the logo with a crackly electricity-style sound effect. I'd advise staying tuned after Eastenders tomorrow night (03/10/06).
Or clicking below : )
Not long now, then.
Or clicking below : )
Not long now, then.
26.9.06
I Met Girls Aloud Today!
Well, when I say "met", I mean "insulted over a live web chat".
Posing as "Sharon from Cardiff".
... and at that point I was kicked off : (
Posing as "Sharon from Cardiff".
... and at that point I was kicked off : (
25.9.06
Myspace.com
Honestly, I'm not deluded enough to think that railing against myspace.com is in any way edgy or hip- for the record, I think the myspace-type social networking trend is, in essence a good thing, but the people... must the people wreck everything*?
Pout. Head cocked askance. Practiced, identikit deep-and-meaningful look into the webcam. Username that's so kooky, anyone reading it will instantly go clinically batshit-insane. A profile of interests so studied and considered that the desperation leaps off the screen and down your throat. It's narcissism on a fanatical scale- a yearning to appear individual and fascinating, on an identical form being filled in by millions and millions of other identically unique and rare individual wankers. Find me a myspace profile which doesn't feature these traits, and I will personally leave the author a heartfelt message of thanks and congratulation*. Conversely, if you think I'm wrong, let me know why.
"But Mark, how is your blog so different to all that, you hypocritical prick?"
I'm not clamouring for a longer list of friends, I'm not trying to squeeze myself in to any scene in particular, there's no attempt to look sexier, cooler, deeper or more obscure than thou. This is myspace for me as opposed to a window I can stand in to try and woo passers by with my haircut and excellent taste.
Fuck it, I've dried up.
Myspace.com, yesterday.
*If you're a band or a solo artiste trying to get free publicity for your work then I understand, and you can consider yourself off the shit-list. Also if you work in the sex industry, go in peace.
Pout. Head cocked askance. Practiced, identikit deep-and-meaningful look into the webcam. Username that's so kooky, anyone reading it will instantly go clinically batshit-insane. A profile of interests so studied and considered that the desperation leaps off the screen and down your throat. It's narcissism on a fanatical scale- a yearning to appear individual and fascinating, on an identical form being filled in by millions and millions of other identically unique and rare individual wankers. Find me a myspace profile which doesn't feature these traits, and I will personally leave the author a heartfelt message of thanks and congratulation*. Conversely, if you think I'm wrong, let me know why.
"But Mark, how is your blog so different to all that, you hypocritical prick?"
I'm not clamouring for a longer list of friends, I'm not trying to squeeze myself in to any scene in particular, there's no attempt to look sexier, cooler, deeper or more obscure than thou. This is myspace for me as opposed to a window I can stand in to try and woo passers by with my haircut and excellent taste.
Fuck it, I've dried up.
Myspace.com, yesterday.*If you're a band or a solo artiste trying to get free publicity for your work then I understand, and you can consider yourself off the shit-list. Also if you work in the sex industry, go in peace.
The Final Curtain...
... went down last night, and I found myself really pleased with how the whole thing went. It was a hard week- I've got myself a temping job in an office (more on the work sitch in a bit) so I've been nine-to-fiving it then hauling ass to the theatre, plastering on minging greasepaint, taping mic leads all over my hairy self and baking under hot lights for three hours, so by the end of each night I've been wrecked- last night though was really euphoric. An enthusiastic audience and a truly pumped cast made it a really special night. Massive thanks to everyone who came to see it over the week- Laura and family, my brother and sister-in-law, Sianni and Ross (a pleasure, Sir), Tre, Sam and everyone else I haven't mentioned. I hope it went down well.
On Wednesday night a face from my past was in the crowd- an old friend from a show ten years ago who's now a Drama teacher at the school where I failed an English interview a few months back. She was very complimentary about my performance and expressed relief that I didn't get the English job- according to her there'll be an opening in her Drama department soon, and she recommended I apply. Of course I'll do just that, but I won't get excited at this point as I've been disappointed by word-of-mouth before.
Now I have to ponder whether or not i want to get involved in the next show. I can say after the event that it's been lovely, but the long rehearsal process and the fatigue of the performance week were a major pain in the anal canal. I'll have a think about it this week- the decision has a lot to do with what the next show is going to be. I was pleased to be involved in Titanic as it wasn't a show I'd seen before- I'll be less eager to get involved if the company intend trotting out some tired ten-a-penny piece of shite next.
Anyway, it was lovely. Some fantastic backstage memories: whiskey, applause, half-time cigarettes, light shining through dust, panic, frozen seconds, campness, new friends, obscene photographs, all good.
Everyone involved had to write their own entry for the programme, so I thought I'd post mine, if you're interested. Give it a click for the legible version.
Be Thee Well.
x
On Wednesday night a face from my past was in the crowd- an old friend from a show ten years ago who's now a Drama teacher at the school where I failed an English interview a few months back. She was very complimentary about my performance and expressed relief that I didn't get the English job- according to her there'll be an opening in her Drama department soon, and she recommended I apply. Of course I'll do just that, but I won't get excited at this point as I've been disappointed by word-of-mouth before.
Now I have to ponder whether or not i want to get involved in the next show. I can say after the event that it's been lovely, but the long rehearsal process and the fatigue of the performance week were a major pain in the anal canal. I'll have a think about it this week- the decision has a lot to do with what the next show is going to be. I was pleased to be involved in Titanic as it wasn't a show I'd seen before- I'll be less eager to get involved if the company intend trotting out some tired ten-a-penny piece of shite next.
Anyway, it was lovely. Some fantastic backstage memories: whiskey, applause, half-time cigarettes, light shining through dust, panic, frozen seconds, campness, new friends, obscene photographs, all good.
Everyone involved had to write their own entry for the programme, so I thought I'd post mine, if you're interested. Give it a click for the legible version.Be Thee Well.
x
15.9.06
Rosenrot, O Rosenrot.
Unemployment is fucking painful. Driving lessons and bills everywhere. It'll be fine, I'm sure- I'm applying for jobs all over the place. If all else fails there's always the call-centre for a while.
4.9.06
3.9.06
Let's Laugh at the Stupidity of Others!
I found this discarded shopping list in the supermarket earlier. Go on, click on it, it's brilliant.
1.) MOOSE? You can't buy a Moose in Tesco. In fact, I don't think you can find a Moose in any supermarket, although I haven't tried Aldi in a while.
2.) What the frig is "backlunch"?
3.) Baby food? Oh Christ, it's got a child.
4.) Camel? Cemal? Carel? Fuck knows.
I also particularly enjoy the way the author reminds him/herself of the amount of lightbulbs he/she needs- "10 of them". Lovely.
Yes, I know it's very poor to laugh at the idiots, but Laura and I took the "Test the Nation" I.Q test tonight, and we both did okay although she beat my 115 with her very clever 127 mutter mumble curse.
1.9.06
I Never Learn.
I'd like someone to make a Firefox extension that detects whether or not the user has drunk two bottles of wine, then stops them from posting on their blog if it reads "positive".
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